Inspiration / 3 min readThe Union in Frame journal
Camera shy? How to feel at ease in your wedding photographs
Words by Union in Frame
If you do not enjoy being photographed, a wedding can look like a long day in front of a camera. It does not have to. Most of the awkwardness comes from not knowing what happens next, so the answer is fewer unknowns: the right photographer, a little practice and less to think about.
Choose a photographer whose directing suits you
Every photographer directs differently. Some give constant instruction, some set up a moment and step back, some barely speak. None is wrong, but one will suit you better, and that person is near you for much of the day.
Ask how they work with couples who feel awkward, and listen to the answer rather than the reassurance. A video call tells you a lot. If their manner relaxes you on screen, it probably will in person. If it grates, keep looking, however good the portfolio is.
Use a short engagement shoot as a rehearsal
An engagement shoot is less about the pictures than about finding out what being photographed by this person feels like, with nothing riding on it. You learn how they ask you to move, how they talk while they work and how long it takes before you stop noticing the camera.
Keep it short and somewhere ordinary: a walk you already take, a park near home. Wear clothes you feel like yourselves in. By the wedding their voice and way of working are familiar, and that alone takes the edge off.
Give your hands and each other something to do
Most stiffness in a photograph comes from standing still and waiting. The fix is not a better pose but something to do. Walk somewhere together. Straighten a collar, hold a coat, share an umbrella. Talk to each other about anything but the camera: the speech you are dreading, who is running late.
Movement gives the photographer real moments to work with, and gives you somewhere to put your attention. When you do have to stand still, hold hands or link arms. Touch is steadying, and it reads as warmth rather than nerves.
Keep portraits short and trust the rest
You do not need an hour of couple portraits. Fifteen or twenty minutes while your guests settle into drinks is usually plenty, and a short stretch is far easier to relax into than a long session. If the running order allows, two short slots beat one long one.
Outside the portraits and family groups, ask for documentary coverage. Nobody poses you; the photographer works quietly around you while you are with your guests. You may find those are the photographs you like most, because you had forgotten the camera was there.
Say plainly what you would rather not see
Most people have something they would rather the camera did not dwell on: a side they prefer, a scar, teeth they are self-conscious about, arms they want covered. It is an ordinary thing to tell a photographer. Say it before the day and they can plan their angles around it without a fuss.
The same goes for things you do not want to do. If you hate being lifted, kissing on cue or being asked to gaze into the distance, say so. A good photographer would rather know than guess, and you can stop bracing for a request that never comes.
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